Don't get me wrong, I love being at college. I have made such great friends and have done so many new things. But there are days where all I want to do it be home hanging out with my family and having cuddle time with my cat. I miss having a real bed and being able to wonder around the house when I can't sleep at night.
But I sometimes feel like I'm not supposed to say that here. It is something no one really talks about because you are supposed to love every minute of being away. I think it is also different for me at times because I honestly don't party. Getting drunk every night of the weekend doesn't hold any appeal for me. So instead of being glad to be away from home where I can get wasted, I just kind of miss being around people who aren't wasted.
It was hard going home for a month and then coming back here where I don't get to see anyone. It probably doesn't help that this past week has been terrible. (Spilled nail polish remover on my computer, had to spend my one free day driving to Rochester and back, someone slashed ONE of my tires) I just miss the calm of being home and spending time with my family. Yeah they drive me nuts and it's hard having to bounce back and forth between homes I still love it. I guess I think other kids feel this way, maybe I just out here floating in some weird bubble though. Who knows? I promise my next post will be perkier, but today I just couldn't think of anything else I wanted to talk about then this.
To my family, I love you and miss you tons. I can't wait to come home soon.
Oh. Wow. I cannot believe that there is another person out there who has spilled nail polish remover on their keyboard! I destroyed my Macbook Pro my second year of college, but Apple fixed it under warranty for free because apparentlythe polish evaporated and left no sign so it looked like the computer melted (which it kind already was doing at the time).
ReplyDeleteI'm really sorry to hear that college is a difficult place to be at right now. I don't know if it makes any difference, but I didn't party in college either which made me feel a little outcast (and I really hated the drunken singing at 2am). Let me tell you that when you finally have you own bed again (make it a queen sized) you will LOVE it. Hang in there!
Everybody goes through bouts of homesickness, it's not just you! Sometimes it's easy to feel like you're totally alone even while you're surrounded by people. The feelings will pass and it will get easier, and the great thing is that your family will always be there for you even if you're not actually with them.
ReplyDeleteI can totally relate to how you're feeling, Zoey. The college I attended was a notorious party school that also happened to have a great music program, so I decided to attend even though I wasn't a party person. I often felt out of place amongst most of my fellow students, which only made me more homesick. But with time, I met some wonderful people who didn't need to get drunk to enjoy life, and things got much better. And they will get better for you, too!
ReplyDeleteHang in there. :) And keep in touch with your family in any way you can: while it can be hard to be away from home, isn't it wonderful to know the people we love are only a phone call or an email away?
I starred this when you first posted, to remind myself to talk to you about it...procrastination...and here we are. I hope things are getting better. I'm living far enough away from my family that I only see them once a month, and then just overnight, so I totally relate. It must be hard to transition back to your 'home' mindset over holidays and breaks. And I completely agree, it's even harder to be content where you are when everyone else around you seems completely okay---even thriving---under the same circumstances.
ReplyDeleteI know you know this, but have to say it: It is okay to miss home. It might feel like it sometimes, but you are not the only one who thinks of home and your family and who wishes you were there with them. You are not the oddball.
I don't comment much (I'm much better at clicking 'star' with good intentions, kind of like a lick and a promise) but I always, always enjoy seeing what's going on with you and reading about what's on your mind. Hang in there, it has to work out!